如何培養會生活懂生命的孩子                                                

                                                                           

 主講人:游乾桂                                                           

                                                                          

 聽說人一輩子看到一個人一眼只有1/61的機率,                                

 今天能與大家見面,希望大家把緣分放在心上,                               

 我們好「有緣」,好「惜緣」學習看到孩子的優點。                           

                                                                          

 一張白紙上有個黑點,我們通常都是看到那個黑點,                           

 這些年透過自己不斷學習,我漸漸看到的是白色的部份。                       

                                                                          

 孩子若有85%的優點,15%缺點,                                             

 大部分的家長都忘記看見他的優點好處。                                     

 所以,有位心理學家曾說過:「孩子需要一個懂得疼惜他的父母」               

                                                                          

 有個「比馬龍」定律就是:                                                 

 你用什麼眼光看你的孩子,他就會成為那樣的人。                             

                                                                           

 發明電燈的愛迪生,當學校的老師都放棄他,                                 

                                                                          

 認為他一無可取,把他帶回家交給他媽媽時說:「笨蛋還給你」,               

 愛迪生的媽媽卻對他說:「別人看不起你,媽媽覺得你不錯」。                 

                                                                          

 因此看孩子的角度不同,結果就會不一樣,                                   

 最重要的是讓孩子有自信。                                                 

                                                                           

 我曾經在精神病院輔導過一位台大醫科畢業的病人,                           

 透過對談了解他的成長歷程,                                               

 發現他從小學到高中從未得過第2名,                                        

 從中讓我體認到承受高壓力(高處不勝寒)的人,                              

 容易失敗且敗得很慘!                                                     

                                                                          

 其實失敗可以帶給人經驗和閱歷,兩者加起來則形成智慧;                     

 我們究竟是要培養孩子成為會讀書的人還是有智慧的人?                        

                                                                          

 培養孩子成為具有智慧(思考.想像.創造力)的人                             

                                                                          

 會讀書的人,是從對的答案裡作出對的答案(擁有的是記憶力)                

 有智慧的人,是從對的答案裡找出錯的地方                                 

 或是從錯的答案裡找到對的地方(擁有的是思考想像和創造力)。               

                                                                          

 會思考、會動腦的人可能在學校的表現差強人意,                             

 然而記憶無法長久,                                                        

 因為我們的腦總是重複在作記憶和遺忘的工作,                               

 許多的答案也隨著時空變化而有不同。                                       

                                                                          

 現有科學知識在8年內許多都被新的結果推翻,                                

 例如玉山的高度隨著地殼變動而改變,每年實際高度都不同;                   

 1904 年萊特兄弟發明飛行器才開始有「飛」的名詞產生;                      

 過去速度是低音速,目前是高音速,將來可能是光速。                         

 因此,記那麼多東西幹麻?                                                 

                                                                          

 腦袋如果背太多東西,就不可能想很多;                                     

 若只會背,不會想(思考),                                               

 腦子就好像被水泥糊起來一樣。                                              

                                                                          

 曾經有記者問過我,我對孩子的期望是什麼,                                 

 我不假思索地回答:健康.快樂和記得我。                                   

                                                                            

 許多人是用錢養孩子,不是用心;                                           

 最近自己一直在想:                                                       

 有天我老了,會希望孩子怎麼對我?                                         

 他們以後會有什麼記憶?                                                    

                                                                          

 會想到爸爸給過他什麼?                                                   

 你想到孩子的又是什麼?                                                   

                                                                           

 我會希望我的孩子能夠想到好多好多,                                       

 例如:我和兒子是一起騎腳踏車、泡湯、爬山、溯溪的好朋友。                 

                                                                          

 然而,有人每天的生活模式是:                                              

 早上刷牙、洗臉、罵小孩,                                                 

 晚上是吃飯、沐浴、更衣、罵小孩,                                         

 希望大家和孩子之間不是這樣的朋友。                                       

                                                                           

 教育的目的是教他成為一個人                                               

                                                                          

 教育的目的歸要一句話是教他成為一個人。                                   

 我們反省一下自己的生活是這樣嗎? G                                         

 1 .每天忙得像豬,每天作牛作馬(動物)                                   

 2 .每天活得像機器(會動的人.會走路的殭屍,還是年輕的老頭?)           

                                                                          

 你的偉大的貢獻只是工作嗎?                                                

 我們讀了那麼多書是為了工作?還是為了生活?                               

 很多人生活就是拚命讀書、努力工作、拚命賺錢,最後是養病。                 

                                                                          

 讀書和工作並沒有最直接的關係,                                           

 並不是很會讀書就會當總經理,它所靠的是能力;                             

 生活就是一種能力(耐)                                                 

 讀書和錢只是一個媒介,最終的目的是懂得生活,                             

 也可說是為了編織一個夢想,                                               

 一個活生生的夢,快樂有趣的夢。                                            

                                                                          

 生命是一種慈悲喜捨                                                       

                                                                           

 生命是一種慈悲喜捨,                                                     

 這比讀書更重要,會成為一輩子受用的資產,                                 

 也是現今社會所欠缺的東西。                                               

                                                                           

 一流的人不慈悲就沒有用,                                                 

 醫生不慈悲,對病患不能視病猶親,就對社會無用;                           

 一流的化學家不慈悲,製造毒物來害人就是恐佈分子,也對社會無用。           

                                                                          

 我有個朋友是醫師,                                                        

 他說他每天開藥時都很掙扎,為了平衡自己,                                 

 他在開藥的同時,也提供養生資料給病人,                                   

 希望他們身體健康下次別再來。                                             

                                                                           

 其中有個養生方法是:                                                    

 天天要運動,好好睡個覺,慢慢吃頓飯。                                     

 有人一早起來就喝咖啡和茶,                                               

 難道一早起來還這麼累嗎?                                                  

 不健康的人,脾氣會不好,就不會以身作則。                                 

                                                                          

 最近的詐騙事件頻傳,                                                     

 他們都是很聰明的人,像我就想不出來這種騙術,                             

 如果把他們的聰明才智用在正途該有多好。                                   

                                                                          

 因此,一流未必有用,有用必定一流,                                       

 希望社會不要充斥著一流而無用的人。                                        

 有用的孩子或許他們很質樸,                                               

 但他們會像金庸筆下的周伯通般「大智若愚」。                               

                                                                          

         

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